This is an appropriate post title for the upcoming Valentine’s Day “holiday”.
I believe we have a fucked up view and understanding of Love.
You see, Love, really can’t be put into words. It is a feeling. It is that feeling when butterflies fly in your stomach, your heart pitter-patters, your palms sweat, and perhaps your cheeks turn red.
Our society has it all wrong.
We associate Love with accomplishment and attachment. We associate being loved by others with what we define ourselves by.
As children, our self-worth is formed by our parents and celebrated when we are told “good job” for getting straight A’s, winning first place in a competition, or even hanging out with the right crowd. We felt “Loved” when we heard the praise, and subconsciously we started to believe and associate our self-worth with accomplishments. When instead, our self worth should be defined by the actual personally identifiable characteristics that make a good human. These include: kindness, compassion, altruism, understanding, listening, friendliness, pure hearted etc…
So now, as adults, we have a fucked up view of Love. We associate it with things and people. We aim for the house, the career, the car, the perfect family, the exotic vacations, the social status. We trick ourselves into believing that by accomplishing these “things” off of our list, that this will make others Love Us.
But here’s the thing. It doesn’t do any of that. Instead, it creates more competition, more anger, and more self neglect. It drives communities apart, creates judgment, puts up proverbial walls, and diminishes the actual true beauty of Love.
Love is the ability to open up your soul, your heart, and your mind to the world around you. Love is defined not only as affection and affirmation, but as your soul speaking. Your solid core, coming to fruition, screaming from the mountain tops and letting its voice be heard.
Love can only happen when we start truly loving ourselves for who we individually are.
This requires pure work and dedication. It requires screaming loudly over our fear voice. Saying positive things about ourselves, celebrating our characteristics, and our traits instead of telling ourselves put downs and negative self rhetoric. Love is recognizing that accomplishments do not equate to more love. Our accomplishments simply enhance the self love we experience.
When we start to Love ourselves, the world around us starts to shift. The self expectations become lighter and less heavy. The grip on control starts to release. We start to shift the neuroplasticity of our brain structure to accommodate for positive reinforcement. We learn that it doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you or about you. It will continue to move and your life experiences will enhance because you have fully accepted yourself, and will inspire others to do the same.
Dear Human Reading This:
You deserve to be loved and cared for. In the end that is all any human wants: safety, security, love.
In order to love fully and completely, you have to love yourself, your faults, your quirks, your past, your good, and your not so good, your weird freckles, crooked teeth, bruised toenails — fully and completely.
You are worthy.
You are enough.
You are Love.
Show the world your best and inspire those around you to do the same.
-Britni
