Too often we get stuck due to our own personal limiting beliefs and behaviors.
These may seem familiar to you:
- I’m a failure
- I’m angry at myself
- I don’t deserve this (experience, person, place)
- How come he/she always wins and I don’t get a chance?
- Why is this happening to me?
The cause of these limiting beliefs: Fear.
I’ve written about FEAR before, and truly believe that the fear voice is one that appears in times where your limiting beliefs are dictating everything you say, think, do, and of course, believe. The minute fear comes knocking at your door, you unconsciously let it inside.
So how do we shift limiting beliefs into limitless beliefs?
One of the philosophies in Buddhist Teaching and Buddhist Psychology is the idea of R.A.I.N. Tara Brach, PhD provides some great guidance of the R.A.I.N. methodology in this article, but I will do my best to simplify here:
- R — Recognize the limiting belief
- A—Acknowledge the limiting belief
- I — Investigate the limiting belief
- N — Non-attachment to the limiting belief
When we take a step back to truly observe the moments of fear and limiting beliefs, we can recognize the underlying cause, or potential trigger of why we are feeling a certain way, or believing a certain self-assumption.
Just as a new habit takes 40 days to become a habit or ritual, utilizing the RAIN technique is something that can be used to be more mindful, drive self-acceptance and turn our limiting belief into a limitless belief. The powerless into powerful. Reframe the story.
As a coach, my goal is to serve my clients and truly listen. When I encounter self-deprecating behavior whether in my clients thinking or my own, I empathize with the feeling of a heavy weight on the shoulders. Simply recognizing and acknowledging that the limiting belief is there provides us with the outlet to also recognize that the limiting belief is untrue, and false.
Limiting beliefs arise out of holding patterns from our past experiences. Because we have life experiences that may have not turned out in our favor, we tend to believe that because the current experience we are in so closely resonates to something that happened in the past; it will turn out the way that it has in the past. Ultimately, this thinking limits us from being our truest selves, and we hide from our authentic power.
The next time you encounter a limiting self belief, be the first to call yourself on it. Identify the potential trigger for the belief, why you are feeling how you are feeling, and counteract the things in which you can do to accept that the belief is false.
Make a list of the beliefs that are true, that counteract your limiting beliefs:
- I’m a failure → I am enough
- I’m angry at myself → I love myself and accept myself as I am
- I don’t deserve this (experience, person, place) → I deserve the best in life
- How come he/she always wins and I don’t get a chance? → Here are the wins I am grateful for
- Why is this happening to me? → This is happening for me
When we reframe the story and turn our limiting beliefs into positive limitless beliefs, we have the power over our fear. Instead of continuing to hide, we can let this fuel our fire and drive. We can utilize this energy into creating a positive story, one that is true, and one that can inspire us to confront our fears and energize us instead of deplete us.