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Dear 2020,

This year has taught me one thing, and it is to sit in the discomfort of the complete unknown.

It’s been an exhausting year. Burnout is high, exhaustion penetrates deep alongside its disgraceful friend (enemy) anxiety. Fear and the rhetoric around it gets louder by the minute, as if there is no way to control the volume.

The most uncomfortable thing about this time, has been finding ways to embrace the uncomfortable. We get too stuck and familiar with our comfort zones. We depend and lean on them as if they are permanent foundations that cannot be shaken…


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I find comfort and solace in writing. Call it therapeutic, stress-relieving, or even a form of mindfulness. Whatever it is, its an opportunity for my mind, heart, and soul to express my emotions and feel my feels, as the kids say.

We’ve experienced an unprecedented moment in our history. One in which, we, will be forever changed by the threat of a pandemic. A big gray area of unknowns causing fear and anxiety, which can be seen in the faces of those 6+ feet away from you.

When these events happen, from hurricanes to pandemics, to overall life grief and…


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I’ve spent hours over the years counting the white speckled square ceiling tiles located in stale rooms at hospitals and doctor's offices. The squares form other squares and it eventually becomes inception within itself. Go figure, the ceiling is just one giant square, made up of smaller squares, or groups of squares within a square. Perhaps this was a method of self-soothing, for doctor's offices and hospitals haven’t been a favorite environment of mine over the years. Counting the ceiling tiles offered a sort of reprieve from the testing, heart checking, and masked the sounds of the mysterious machines in…


Sun Valley, Idaho

I’m back in Austin after a month away after living in a small mountain town, Sun Valley, Idaho for a month. Sun Valley is a town of around 8k people, a lot who are retired and enjoying the mountain lifestyle filled with hiking and outdoor activities in the summer and skiing in the winter.

I was born in Sun Valley, and my family moved away when I was three. I’ve spent holidays and a few summers there over the years, and have had a somewhat tumultuous relationship with the place. …


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I’ve been doing some hard internal work and discovery recently. For the past 30 days, I’ve been committing myself to Future Self Journaling which is a series of daily exercises that encourage you to shift patterns of behaviors, limiting beliefs, and address fear. What has arisen is a series of behaviors and mostly fear-based thoughts around my own worth, and how I try to find or validate my worth by the actions (or subsequent inactions) of others. Its been a challenging exercise as facing your past and traumas can bring up more hurt and possibly anger, but I’ve noticed the…


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March has started off with a bit of a whirlwind, and simultaneously very slowly. I honored and respected my needs, held space for both surprise birthdays and a major grief session, got sick in the midst of it, and have been relishing in the sunshine. I’ve allowed for healing, healing in the sense of preventing myself from overcommitting to things and experiences that may not serve me in the best possible way, right now. I’ve backed off from my side hustle because energetically I don’t have the physical and mental resources to do that right now.

I’ve been reading the…


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This is an appropriate post title for the upcoming Valentine’s Day “holiday”.

I believe we have a fucked up view and understanding of Love.

You see, Love, really can’t be put into words. It is a feeling. It is that feeling when butterflies fly in your stomach, your heart pitter-patters, your palms sweat, and perhaps your cheeks turn red.

Our society has it all wrong.

We associate Love with accomplishment and attachment. We associate being loved by others with what we define ourselves by.

As children, our self-worth is formed by our parents and celebrated when we are told “good job” for getting straight A’s, winning first place in a competition, or…


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I walked by a graffiti sign today that said:

I fear I am becoming emotionally attached to you.

So I continued my walk simmering on the idea of attachment and how it is the root cause of all suffering.

If you’ve been following along, it won’t be a surprise to you that I have continued my education on Buddhism and expanding my knowledge to hold more of a Buddhist lens. I like it because it doesn’t push a specific type of religion our outcome, it simply encourages mindfulness and introspection when you feel uncomfortable or need to seek personal growth…


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Growing up, I never had a fully established relationship with a concrete divine persona. I spent years in private schools, often affiliated with a type of religion or Christianity. I was baptized Catholic but never took communion, or classes to be a full fledged member of the Church. I attended Catholic Universities for both undergraduate and graduate schools, and took courses in theology that expanded my world view of religion and its cultural impact.

My family was the family that magically appeared at Church on Christmas Eve. We’d sing the songs out of tune and off tempo. We’d show up…

Britni

Empath, Author, Writer, Seeker, Coach. Founder of Ocean and Arrow. ❤ warrior. Riding the 🌊.

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